a. t. whim

This is all I’ve got for you on new work. Sad isn’t it? I’ve got 2 paintings just sitting on my easel being completely neglected…

I look at them longingly, but I can’t seem to get to finishing them. Maybe this weekend. Right now I’m searching for something. Inspiration? Emotion? I don’t know. I’ve been going out with people, asking them questions, writing things down in my book; buying music, movies, books… I think I’m trying to get back in touch with the world. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own thoughts, and I forget there are things going on outside of my little world. I did just apply for the November Crafty Wonderland. I’ll know on the 22nd if I get in. It’ll be so nice to do a show!

I have been sick these last couple of weeks. My body is still tired and recovering from it. Of course it didn’t help that I wouldn’t slow down for it. So after a few days of denial, it finally knocked me out and forced me to stay in bed for a couple of days. I hate being sick. It wastes so much time.

Anyway, I’m getting back into the swing of things. Made myself happy by buying a whole bunch of stuff I didn’t need, but had to have…

The movies: Frida, Cry Baby, Naruto. Music: Mazzy Star, Helio Sequence, Tori. Books: I will never forget you, Angry Little Girls (the little angry Asian girl is just like me!), Frida’s Diary. and I still have a million more on my list.

One day I need to win the lottery.

My Heart is Flighty. That’s the name of this painting and that’s how I’m feeling these days! I’ve been seeking out inspiration so much lately, that I’m obsessing over any little thing that causes the slightest tug at my heart. Now, I’m so overwhelmed with these obsessions. I feel like my heart is being pulled in a million directions. Someone once asked me if I would rather be Harold or Maude. I said, “Harold. I want to be tragically beautiful.” Then I got all embarrassed and laughed nervously and loudly. I was born in the year of the Horse, and this is what “The Handbook of Chinese Horoscopes” has to say about me: The unpredictable Horse will fall in love easily and fall out of love just as easily. So forgive me, friends, if I seem fickle… You see, I was just born this way. I’ve been reading a lot about my Horsey nature these last few years. It keeps me aware of my faults, it’s fixing those faults that’s the problem.
I’ve been enjoying little things these last few days. I bought the movies I Heart Huckabees, Romeo + Juliet, and Moulin Rouge. Went to the new IKEA here in Portland and sat on every couch and chair, opened every drawer, lusted after the bookshelves, and ate some Swedish meatballs. Almost cried when I heard Marcel Marceau died. Had a nice drink after work with some friends, and now I have just finished the painting above. I think I’ll go watch one of my movies. OH, and bake cookies…. yum.

I haven’t gotten many guesses for the little contest I had in my last post. My music isn’t that obscure, in fact… it’s not obscure at all! But maybe you don’t memorize lyrics as I do… So here’s what I’ll do, I name the song… you name the artist! Okay!

1. Spellbound, 2. Kissing Families, 3. Joga, 4. You said something, 5. Lips like sugar

Now, I’ve made it easy! bye lovelies.

I’ve got my head in the clouds…

So if you haven’t realized, I paint myself a whole bunch. My so endearing boyfriend pointed out that it may seem very narcissistic on my part. And it’s true, there are certain aspects of myself that I am very proud of. But I know my face better than anyone else’s, and when I paint my stories I want to be in them! Anyway, Frida painted herself all the time and no one complained…. but I can’t compare to her, she was also so beautiful, so deep and so passionate. But I’m going to keep painting me anyway, because that’s what I know.

The other night I went out for a quiet drink by myself. I was waiting for my light to cross the street and was called Yoko Ono for the second time in my life while a strange man hugged me and said “if you’re Yoko than I’m John!” I told them I wasn’t a big Beatles fan (which is a lie, I do like the Beatles!) and almost ran across the street when my light turned green. Why Yoko? It’s being Asian and the hair isn’t it? Why can’t someone say I look like Maxine Hong Kingston? I would then be overwhelmingly flattered and I would love you so hard because you know who Kingston is. So anyway, I ended up at my bar. It was so wonderfully half empty on a Friday night and my bartender put two cherries in my drink.

I’ve been buying and getting tons of new music lately. I’ve missed having new music and old music that I somehow lost along the years. I sit and read the lyrics as I’m waiting for the paint to dry. Let’s play a little game. I’ll list a few lyrics and you leave a comment and guess who it is. I’ll pick a comment at random and send the winner a little surprize. I’ll give it a little while because I don’t think I have many readers. Don’t forget to leave your email so I can get your address!

okay here we go:

1. did i meet you in my dreams
on some lonely street it seems
one look and i wear my heart upon my sleeve
one touch of you and i just can’t believe

2. it’s no wonder that we did it this way
keep looking forward on paths sideways
it’s everything that is connected and beautiful
and now i know just where i stand

3. all that no-one sees
you see
what’s inside of me
every nerve that hurts you heal
deep inside of me
you don’t have to speak - i feel
emotional landscapes
they puzzle me

4. And I’m doing nothing wrong
Riding in your car
The radio playing
We sing up to the eighth floor
A rooftop, Manhattan
At one in the morning
And you said something
That I’ve never forgotten

5. (this one’s for you Drea.)

She’ll be my mirror
Reflect what I am
A loser and a winner
The King of Siam
and my Siamese twin
Alone on the river
Mirror kisses

Okay, and I’ll even give you a hint! #1 was released in 1988, #2 in 2005, #3 in 1997, #4 in 2000 and #5 in 1987. Good luck!

You bring me carrots and celery

you bring me carrots and ce-le-ryyyyyyyy….”

I’ve had that song stuck in my head all day long. So I drew a picture of it in cute manga style…

But before that, I painted this…

Originally I planned on doing it in ink, but then decided they needed softer edges. So I used watercolors (which I dread so much), and I think it turned out well! They’re both so soft and fluffy looking! Swans were one of the very first things I used to draw as a girl. I would start with a large rounded backwards “2″ shape because for some reason the swan always had to face to the right. And they never had feet, because I was afraid to attempt them.

Then I did this little windy scene…

which I am very pleased with since it started out as a doodle.

Now my weekend is over, and tomorrow it’s time to head back to the bookstore. I should get some sleep!

Happy Tuesday!